Sacred Surrender Read online

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  About the Author

  www.lazydaypub.com

  Sacred Surrender

  Digital ISBN- 9781612580258

  Print ISBN- 1-61258-025-4

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

  Copyright © 2011 Ava Riley

  Cover art by Bret Poinier

  This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, any events or locales is purely coincidental. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination and are not to be construed as real.

  No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission from the publisher LazyDay, with the exception of quotes used in reviews and critical articles.

  Dedication

  To my husband, the man who made me believe in happy ever after, I owe you more than a dedication in this book! There’s no place in the world I’d rather be than in your heart and arms. No matter what life throws at us, the one constant is the love we share! You truly are my best friend. Thank you for all your love, support, and encouragement!

  To my kids, Marc and Kaleigh, though you’ll never read this (at least until I’m no longer walking this earth), I’m proud to be your Mommy. You make me see the good in the world.

  To all the friends and family (even my Twitterlings), far and near who have had a part in my life, molding me into the person I am today, I say ~ Thank You~!

  To Staci and Lazy Day Publishing ~ Thanks for taking a chance on this vanilla writer who just wanted her voice to be heard! I appreciate all you’ve done for me!

  Sacred Surrender

  By

  Ava Riley

  Chapter 1

  The alarm sounded, signaling the start of another day; a day he had no desire to face. Reaching across his king sized sleigh bed, he squashed the sound of eighties music flowing from the small black box sitting on the bedside table. The numbers eight three zero glaring at him as if to dare him to close his eyes once more.

  Rowan found it harder with each passing day to pull himself from the bed he dreaded laying down in nightly. His life became nothing more than a mundane routine since his sister Tessa and his best friend Cade started dating a year ago. The two things in life he always counted on since graduating from medical school, Friday night club hopping with Cade and Saturday morning breakfast with Tessa, came to an abrupt halt when the two started planning their wedding six months ago. Saying he missed that time was an understatement, but he held no anger toward either of them. It’s how life unfolded and he couldn’t be happier for them. He and Cade became best friends at the age of ten and, honestly, he couldn’t have asked for a more loving husband for his little sister or a better brother in law. Laying there in his oversized bed alone; however, made the joy he felt for them dissipate.

  Lying on his back, his eyes focused on nothing specific, Rowan rubbed his hand over his once clean shaven jaw. The stubble became a quick reminder of his lack of caring any longer. With movements that put even a sloth to shame, he reluctantly pushed aside the red and black comforter as he dragged himself out of bed. The cold wood floor beneath his feet sent a shiver through his body and at once awareness of the day awaiting him, hit full force. He slowly made his way down the hallway of his three bedroom home to the kitchen. A nice steaming cup of straight black coffee should get his blood warmed up and his mind cleared.

  Although Long Beach weather in November during the afternoons was always pleasant, the mornings held a crisp chill, making it his favorite time of the year. He slept with his bedroom windows open so that when he woke in the mornings, the first thing to hit his senses was the cool breeze from the ocean. He loved living close to the beach for the simple serenity it offered.

  Rowan works the graveyard shift in the emergency room at Long Beach Community Hospital and would normally be crawling into bed instead of out. Yesterday, marked the start of his vacation, however, and he made plans with Cade. He promised he’d help him plan the honeymoon him and Tessa would be going on in just a few more months. It seemed like it wasn’t that long ago that he and Cade had been planning his own honeymoon. A honeymoon that never happened, because of a fiancé that decided it would be clever to seduce his best friend the night before their wedding. Erin had been his life, the one he thought for sure he would grow old with. He’d given her everything he had to give to her. Physically, emotionally, lock, stock and barrel, he hadn’t held anything back. And now he stood alone in his kitchen. Looking back, he mentally slapped himself for being so naïve when it came to her. Certainly there had to have been signs of the true person that dwelled deep within her, but he’d been so caught up in being in love, he missed them.

  Rowan lost himself in the memories of the short courtship he experienced with Erin, as he sat on one of the bar stools lining the high counter, wrapping around his kitchen. Without thought, he picked at the bowl of fruit he’d pulled from the refrigerator. A whirlwind romance filled with promises of a happy ending, only to end with his heart being broken and her not giving two shits about him or those close to him. They met in the emergency room when she’d started working for the hospital as a charge nurse, catching his attention right away. She was absolutely beautiful. She silently screamed perfection with her long blonde hair, perfect tanned skin, deep blue eyes, and a body to die for with curves in all the right places. He was astonished that of all the men she could be with she’d actually chosen him. Of course, looking back now, his astonishment diminished because she apparently was not a one man woman. He found that out the hard way. After only a few months of dating, he asked her to marry him. He’d never been in love, never felt as if something was so right until he met Erin. And because of her, he vowed never to trust his instincts with a woman again. As far as he was concerned, she was evil to the core. Underneath that beautiful face and body dwelled a blackened heart that cared for no one other than herself.

  He’d gone out with Cade and a few of his doctor buddies from the hospital to celebrate his wedding. Of course, like any groom to be, he’d had entirely too much to drink. Cade had to drag his ass back home to sleep it off before the ceremony the next day. He knew Erin would never forgive him if he showed up on their wedding day still drunk from the night before. What a shock it had been to find out, that the only woman he’d ever given his heart to, or ever would, was a manipulative, cheating bitch. As he lay on the couch oblivious to everything around him, Erin had tried to get Cade into her bed, their bed. That damn sleigh bed she’d talked him into buying the week before their wedding. That damn bed he didn’t even want and just crawled out of. Thankfully, his best friend not only had enough scruples to deny her, but to expose her untimely deed. Rowan would’ve married someone who never truly loved him if Cade had not held fast to the friendship that bound them together. Unfortunately, his appreciation of Cade’s honesty, in the beginning, was not quite as evident as it is now. It had practically destroyed their friendship. Rowan actually had the audacity to blame Cade for Erin’s advances. Fortunately for him, Cade was understanding,
waiting out the storm that was Rowan. Even when Tessa had tried to convince him that Cade had done nothing but the noble thing, he closed her off as well. Rowan never lashed out at Cade verbally or physically, but sometimes a cold shoulder is worse than a dislocated jaw. Why Cade ever forgave him would be a mystery to until he took his last breath. He was thankful that their lifelong friendship held steadfast through possibly the worst time of his life.

  “Get it together, Rowan,” he reprimanded himself out loud, pulling his mind away from the time in his life he should have buried long ago.

  Sealing the remainder of the fruit and placing it back into the refrigerator for another time, he walked to the sink as he quickly downed the rest of his coffee. He rinsed out the oversized black cup, placing it in the sink upside down. He stood staring at it for a moment, and then shook his head. He would make himself crazy if he didn’t just get over what could have been and move on with his life. This should be a happy time for him; his sister was marrying his best friend, he had a great job, a beautiful house and wonderful friends. He should be happy he didn’t have some ball and chain to keep him from living his life. Maybe, just maybe, if he kept telling himself that, it would finally sink into his thick skull. Right now, he needed to get himself in the shower; otherwise, he’d be late meeting Cade.

  He quickly made his way back down the hall, stopping briefly at the linen closet to grab a fresh towel. Stepping past the threshold of the tiny bathroom, his blue pajama pants and black briefs found their place in a corner, along with the rest of the clothes he’d not taken the time to wash. He shook his head at the evidence lying in a heap on the tile floor, a reminder of his bachelor status. The silver knobs just beyond the shower door felt cold against his skin as he turned them until a steady stream flowed. Going through the normal routine of brushing his teeth while waiting for the water to heat up, Rowan stood at the small vanity. He glanced at his reflection, as the toothbrush slide across his perfectly whitened teeth, wondering to himself how his life had become so mundane. The water took entirely too long to heat up, although he’d recently replaced the water heater, making it the one thing he disliked about the house. Finally, when he knew the water was as hot as he could stand it, he eased underneath the pounding stream of pure bliss. Once he let the water consume him, all the tension in his body and mind melted away. Rowan stayed under the spray as long as he possibly could. Reluctantly, he reached to shut off the shower, but not before he let the water splash onto his face, washing away the stress life handed him. He reached for the towel hanging over the top of the shower door, paying no attention to the fact that the edges had gotten wet during his shower. Wrapping the towel around his waist and making his way back to the vanity, he wiped the moisture from the mirror with the palm of his hand. He ran his hands through his wet hair, making it stand on end. Although he normally wore his hair a little longer and was clean shaven, a change was necessary in his life and he thought his appearance would be a good start. While standing in the bathroom staring at nothing in particular, the door bell rang, pulling him out of the dazed state he found himself in these days.

  “Cade must have decided to meet here instead,” he said out loud to himself.

  Rowan made his way to the front door still sporting a towel wrapped around his waist, water glistening off his chest, and not a second thought that it could be anyone but Cade.

  Madison stood outside on the front porch of her neighbor’s home, uncertain if anyone was home. She internally debated with herself if she should ring the bell again or wait a few more moments. She just moved into the house next door and thanks to the bad luck that followed her, was at the mercy of a complete stranger. The real estate agent that told her the quaint little house sat in perfect condition would be getting a phone call come Monday morning and she’d be getting a piece of her mind.

  Yeah right, Madison, just like you give everyone a piece of your mind.

  She moved out to Long Beach from Kansas because she was tired of the boring Midwest living she’d been forced to endure her entire life. Tired of flat lands, humidity and bone chilling winters, Long Beach was the perfect escape for her. She wanted sunshine, beaches and lots of hot men to look at. The little town she grew up in had nothing other than farm boys with the IQ of a goat. Although most were quite nice to look at, their idea of a perfect date was cow tipping and barn swinging. She shook her head at the thought of swinging from hay stack to hay stack on a thick rope attached to the roof of a barn on too many occasions. She not once wore a dress on a date for that very reason.

  She’d gone to college so she could escape the small town life, wanting to move on to bigger and better things. Her parents had provided a great life for her, but she wanted more for herself. The thought of raising kids in the town she grew up depressed the hell out of her, so early on in high school she decided to make a break for it as soon as she could. As soon as she earned her degree in business management, she was hired for one of the HR positions for a pharmaceutical company here in Long Beach. She jumped at the opportunity with reckless abandon. Her mother had told her to think it through, but it’d taken her all of twenty-four hours to decide. She’d been so excited about moving that she wasted no time in getting out here. She had less than two weeks before she started work, which turned out to be a blessing, because the perfect little house was going to need a lot of work.

  Madison rang the bell one more time. She hoped someone was home that knew how to work a wrench or at least had a wrench she could borrow. Upon her visit out here to look at the house a few months ago, her agent told her a doctor lived next door. Certainly a doctor would be smart enough to help her with a leaky faucet.

  Rowan quickly swung the door open as water dripped from his torso to the wood floor beneath his bare feet and gasped. He’d actually gasped. He couldn’t remember if he’d ever done such a thing in his life, but the view before him caused the reaction from him. Standing on the other side of his door was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen and here he stood in nothing but a towel. Suddenly, he felt himself harden under the thick material and wanted nothing more than to disappear. Flustered, embarrassed, and at a loss for words, were feelings he was not used to experiencing in the presence of a woman. Hell, he would venture to say they were feelings he’d never felt at all.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your shower,” Madison stuttered. She felt her mouth go dry, as a lump formed in her throat. When her agent said a doctor lived next door she pictured an older man with graying hair, not what stood before her now. What she looked at now was a California god! Aside from a body that rippled with endless muscles, abs that she wanted to run her tongue over, and wide shoulders perfect for holding onto while she wrapped her legs around his waist, was an amazing face with the deepest blue eyes staring back at her. A chiseled jaw covered perfectly in stubble and short blonde hair that stuck on end, most likely from just getting out of the shower. Oh hell, here she stood staring at him like she’d just won the lottery and he wore nothing but a smile and a towel. She fought to keep her gaze from his lower parts, but, damn, she could tell the man was well-endowed. And if she was correct, he was sporting an erection under the towel she now wished would find its place on the floor. She absently licked her lips as her gaze traveled back up his body to find him with a smirk on his face.

  Madison realized as she watched his eyes widen she’d taken a step toward him. What the hell was wrong with her? She’d seen good looking men before, but holy hell never one as perfect as him. Suddenly she wanted to fall to her knees and thank the leaky faucet gods for her fate.

  “Is there something I could help you with?” Rowan finally spoke, trying not to laugh at the reaction she clearly had toward him.

  Normally, he would have the decency to excuse himself, but he was enjoying the color of her cheeks shifting from a beautiful pale to a rosy red and the glazed over look in her eyes. His cock twitched at the thought of her luscious lips wrapped around his shaft when her eyes had traveled to h
is nether region. He quickly pulled himself from those thoughts before he really embarrassed himself. He’d been in the company of beautiful women before, but this one standing in front of him called out to his body in a way no other had. Even his first meeting with Erin had not affected his body this way.

  “Hi, my name is Madison James and I just moved in next door,” her voice brought him back to the present.

  “Nice to meet you, Madison James,” he loved the way her name felt on his tongue. Saying it seemed to make his world right for a split second.

  “Thank you and you are?”

  “Your neighbor,” he said with a smirk. “My name is Rowan. Was there something you needed, ma’am?”

  “Ma’am?” She’d never had someone address her as ma’am and certainly didn’t expect it from this man in front of her, “You can just call me Madison. I was hoping that you knew something about leaky faucets, or at least had a wrench I could borrow.”